Rob “Hardy” Poole: The Good, The Bad, and The stinky of Las Vegas – Toucher & Hardy
Recently, I returned from my annual Las Vegas trip. Now, I call it annual, but over the years I’ve shortened the duration in between trips by a couple months. That way, I net an extra trip about every six years. So far, my wife has not caught on to this scam, or more likely, she doesn’t care enough to bring it up. And if you’re worried that she’s going to read this and bust me, don’t. She doesn’t listen to me on the radio, much less read what I write here.
I lived in Las Vegas for almost seven years, so I go there to see friends, play golf and gamble. And to eat the best carne asada burrito in the world from Roberto’s Taco Shop. But after this last trip, I couldn’t help but notice a few things in town that are certainly not to my liking. Starting with:
PARKING

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – FEBRUARY 10: Traffic along Las Vegas Boulevard ahead of Super Bowl LVIII on February 10, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
I realize this won’t affect most visitors to Las Vegas. The majority of tourists use cabs, trams and Ubers to get around town, but I always rent a car. It’s just easier with all the running around I do. But a lot of hotels now charge for valet parking, even if you’re a hotel guest. One place which I shall not name (rhymes with “Geezers” and is pager friendly) charged me $35 to self park while I had dinner inside. Casinos used to be content with the millions they made off us idiot gamblers, but apparently their greed knows no bounds.
(note: there was a charge that night for “event” parking, but when isn’t there an event at a major resort? Also, you can duck this parking fee if you’re at a certain level in their players club, which I am not)
SEAFOOD

LAS VEGAS, NV – SEPTEMBER 16: A seafood cocktail is displayed during the Las Vegas Food & Wine Festival at SLS Las Vegas Hotel on September 16, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Bryan Steffy/Getty Images for Barcelona Enterprises)
More specifically, the seafood buffet. Two nights a week at the hotel I stayed at, the aroma of a million bodies smoking a billion cigarettes was overpowered by the smell of mass prepared lobster and crab legs. I’m not a fan to begin with, but I’m pretty sure even the seafood lovers were repulsed by the stench.
GAMBLING

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA – JUNE 11: Scott Mobley of Nevada plays a Fortune Cup Derby Deluxe multi-station horse racing machine with socially-distanced betting screens at Excalibur Hotel & Casino after the Las Vegas Strip property opened for the first time since being closed in mid-March because of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic on June 11, 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hotel-casinos throughout the state were allowed to open on June 4 as part of a phased reopening of the economy with social distancing guidelines and other restrictions in place. Excalibur is MGM Resorts International’s fourth Las Vegas location to reopen for business following its Bellagio Resort & Casino, New York-New York Hotel & Casino, MGM Grand Hotel & Casino and The Signature properties on June 4. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
I lost. And I know have a sneaking suspicion that those casino games are set up to favor the house.
I’m sure I’ll be back next year – or 10 months from now. But I’d be lot more eager to return if they brought back free parking, lost the seafood buffet, and let me win a few hands.