Admittedly, we here at Felger and Mazz can be cynical and skeptical, perhaps (?) to a fault. For example, if we were to write a caption for the photo above, we’d probably come up with something like this:
“OK, so tell me again: which one is the X and which one is the Y?”
Now to the question that many seemingly are asking: are the Patriots “fixed” entering Week 6? Well, that’s hard to say when you’re still just 2-3. Over the last three weeks, the Patriots rank sixth in the NFL in scoring, which is no small feat given the early-season issues they have had at quarterback and the offensive line, let alone on an unconventional coaching staff. But before anyone starts talking about media-driven narratives or anything of the like, let’s acknowledge that the Pats lost two of those three games in part because their defense crapped out.
The point? The Patriots have played one complete game this year in five tries. One. And that was against the Detroit Lions, a franchise that symbolizes futility more than any other in pro sports.
The people who should be puffing out their chests this week?
Us.
We had another good week and are turning a profit.
So get on the bus before the fare goes up, you nozzles.
Last week: 9-6-1.
Season: 42-35-3.
(All point spreads courtesy of DraftKings as of 12:20 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. 13.)
Washington (-1) at Chicago (Thursday night)
LANDOVER, MARYLAND – OCTOBER 09: Carson Wentz #11 of the Washington Commanders talks with head coach Ron Rivera during the first half against the Tennessee Titans at FedExField on October 09, 2022 in Landover, Maryland. (Photo by Scott Taetsch/Getty Images)
Again, it’s caption time for the photo above:
Carson Wentz: Coach, why did you throw me under the bus last week?
Ron Rivera: Um … because you blow?
This week’s Thursday night game is really a question of which team (and quarterback) can out-suck the other. Murray likes the Bears in this game. I actually like the Commanders. With such a small spread. history suggests taking home team. Felger agrees with me. You’re right, Mazz! Pick: Washington.
New England (+2.5) at Cleveland
CLEVELAND, OHIO – OCTOBER 09: Nick Chubb #24 of the Cleveland Browns plays against the Los Angeles Chargers at FirstEnergy Stadium on October 09, 2022 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Now feels like a good time to revisit the Patriots’ decision to draft Sony Michel over Nick Chubb (pictured above), who has proven to be one of the best running backs in the NFL over his first five years in the league. Fine, so Felger doesn’t like running backs. And the Patriots now have Rhamondre Stevenson. But one can only wonder what the Pats could have done with those picks if they just taken Chubb. I’m the only one who likes Cleveland and got overruled here. Pick: New England.
Tampa Bay (+8) at Pittsburgh
TAMPA, FLORIDA – OCTOBER 09: Grady Jarrett #97 of the Atlanta Falcons sacks Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers during the fourth quarter of the game at Raymond James Stadium on October 09, 2022 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)
Wow, do the Steelers stink or what? And here’s a scary thought: watching Kenny Pickett throw last week, I couldn’t help but wonder if 45-year-old Tom Brady actually has a stronger arm – and by that I mean his left arm. Did anyone else notice this? Maybe it was just a one-off thing. Or maybe it was a really bad sign. Murray has completely turned on Brady and likes the Steelers. Again, we overruled him. Pick: Tampa Bay.
NY Jets (+7.5) at Green Bay
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 09: Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers is sacked by Oshane Ximines #53 of the New York Giants and fumbles the ball in the fourth quarter during the NFL match between New York Giants and Green Bay Packers at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on October 09, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)
Not so long ago, a game like this one would have been a complete no-brainer. And yet, the Jets and Packers today have the same record. Is it possible for the Packers to lose consecutive games to New York teams with Aaron Rodgers at quarterback? I say no. Murray says no. Whatever Felger says (Jets) doesn’t matter this time. Pick: Green Bay.
Baltimore (-6) at NY Giants
LONDON, ENGLAND – OCTOBER 09: New York Giants head coach Brian Daboll interacts on the sidelines during the NFL match between New York Giants and Green Bay Packers at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on October 09, 2022 in London, England. (Photo by Stu Forster/Getty Images)
The Giants and coach Brian Daboll are arguably THE story in the NFL so far this year, and this photo proves it. Look at that angry little hamster. Don’t you just love him?
Rick Stewart/Getty Images
The more and more we look at Daboll, the more and more we see at least some similarity to baseball lifer Don Zimmer, whom former Red Sox pitcher Bill Lee once likened to a gerbil. Whatever it is that Daboll is doing to focus and prepare the Giants each week, it’s working. That said, the Giants have faced one real team so far – Dallas – and lost by seven. Are the Ravens a real team? It feels like it. And Lamar Jackson is a different kind of challenge. Felger and I like the Ravens: Pick: Baltimore.
San Francisco (-5.5) at Atlanta
SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA – OCTOBER 03: Defensive end Nick Bosa #97 of the San Francisco 49ers sacks quarterback Matthew Stafford #9 of the Los Angeles Rams during the first quarter at Levi’s Stadium on October 03, 2022 in Santa Clara, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Oddly enough, you know what has stuck out among some of the NFL’s better teams so far this year? Defense. And no team in the league plays better defense than the Niners, who travel to Atlanta this week. The Falcons have been a pleasant surprise so far, but even former Atlanta talk show host Murray knows the Falcons will have trouble scoring this week. If Murray knows, you should, too. We have a unanimous decision. Pick: San Francisco.
Minnesota (-3) at Miami
CINCINNATI, OHIO – SEPTEMBER 29: Quarterback Tua Tagovailoa #1 of the Miami Dolphins is sacked by defensive tackle Josh Tupou #68 of the Cincinnati Bengals during the 2nd quarter of the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paycor Stadium on September 29, 2022 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
No Tua. Now no Teddy Bridgewater. That means the Dolphins this week are going with Skylar Thompson at quarterback against the Vikings, who are a 3-point favorite. I actually think Thompson at home is a better play than Kirk Cousins on the road, but Murray disagrees. Felger is on my side. Suck it, Murray. Pick: Miami.
Cincinnati (-2) at New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – OCTOBER 09: Andy Dalton #14 of the New Orleans Saints throws a pass against the Seattle Seahawks at Caesars Superdome on October 09, 2022 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
There was a brief time, remember, when some wondered whether Andy Dalton was the man to lead Cincinnati to respectability. Dalton went 50-26-1 in his first five years with the Bengals, but things got pretty hairy after that. Coming off a loss, the Bengals now go to New Orleans, where Dalton is waiting. The Bengals have had a tough schedule to far, but it’s about to soften. Meathead and Numbnuts like the Saints, so I lose out. Pick: New Orleans.
Jacksonville (+2) at Indianapolis
DENVER, COLORADO – OCTOBER 06: Matt Ryan #2 of the Indianapolis Colts is sacked by Josey Jewell #47 of the Denver Broncos during a game at Empower Field At Mile High on October 06, 2022 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)
Hard to know what’s more incredible: the fact that Colts quarterback Matt Ryan has 21 sacks, 11 fumbles and seven interceptions this year … or the fact that the Colts are nonetheless 2-2-1. In the end, this is life in the AFC South, which might be the worst division in football. Murray likes the Jags. I like the Colts. Felger sides with Murray. I lose. Pick: Jacksonville.
Carolina (+10) at LA Rams
INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA – SEPTEMBER 08: Head coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams reacts during the second quarter of the NFL game against the Buffalo Bills at SoFi Stadium on September 08, 2022 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
Well, well, well … so what do we have here? Media and league darling Sean McVay suddenly looks like a man without answers, particularly with an offensive “line” that works more like a colander. Matt Stafford has been sacked a whopping 21 times so far and probably got better protection in Detroit. The Panthers have a good defense, but they just fired coach Matt Ruhle. The Rams have to pummel someone soon or their season is going up in smoke. We’re all in agreement here. Pick: Los Angeles.
Arizona (-2.5) at Seattle
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – OCTOBER 09: Geno Smith #7 of the Seattle Seahawks reacts after a touchdown during the first half of the game against the New Orleans Saints at Caesars Superdome on October 09, 2022 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
The more you watch Kyler Murray, the more you come to a conclusion: he doesn’t know how to win. He just doesn’t. Murray (that’s Kyler we’re talking about) stunk in the playoffs last year, has a bad career record at home (9-16-1) and is just 5-12 in his career in the division. Meanwhile, Geno Smith appears to have matured into a pretty decent player. (Jim) Murray will lead the unanimous chant! Sea-Hawks! Pick: Seattle.
Buffalo (-2.5) at Kansas City
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – OCTOBER 10: Derek Carr #4 of the Las Vegas Raiders is sacked by Chris Jones #95 of the Kansas City Chiefs during the 2nd quarter of the game at Arrowhead Stadium on October 10, 2022 in Kansas City, Missouri. Jones was called for a penalty for roughing the passer. (Photo by David Eulitt/Getty Images)
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed that we highlighted some defensive players with a handful of photos this week – which brings us to this sack of Derek Carr last week by Chris Jones, the behemoth defensive lineman of the Chiefs. This week, it feels just as likely that Bills QB Josh Allen will land on Jones rather then the other way around. Felger still likes the Chiefs. We don’t. The Bills have been waiting a almost a year for it. Pick: Buffalo.
Dallas (+4.5) at Philadelphia (Sunday night)
ARLINGTON, TEXAS – SEPTEMBER 18: Dorance Armstrong #92 of the Dallas Cowboys celebrates with Micah Parsons #11 after sacking Joe Burrow #9 of the Cincinnati Bengals during the first half at AT&T Stadium on September 18, 2022 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images)
Want to talk defense? How `bout them Cowboys! If you watch the Pats on Sunday, you’re not going to want to leave your sofa once it’s over. Bills-Chiefs in the 4 o’clock window. Then Cowboys-Eagles for the lead in the NFC East. Good teams. Good markets. Good stuff. Murray and I both like the Cowboys with the points. Felger likes the Eagles. Tough game to pick. Pick: Dallas.
Denver (+5) at LA Chargers (Monday night)
DENVER, CO – OCTOBER 06: Head coach Nathaniel Hackett and Russell Wilson #3 of the Denver Broncos talk with the referees during the first half of the game against the Indianapolis Colts at Empower Field At Mile High on October 6, 2022 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Justin Tafoya/Getty Images)
Again, it’s caption time.
Denver quarterback Russell Wilson: Whaddaya wanna do, coach?
Denver coach Nathaniel (Buddy) Hackett: I dunno. (Shrugs.) Whadda YOU wanna do?
Fact: the Broncos are scary bad right now. And we mean scary. Denver has an allegedly injured quarterback (shoulder) that looks old and washed up, a coach that looks overmatched and clueless – and Super Bowl hopes that are getting dashed (and gashed) by the minute. I’m stupidly going against the grain here with Denver. Thankfully, Felger and Murray are here to save us. Pick: Los Angeles.
