Everyone’s talking about the Patriots possibly getting Odell Beckham Jr., for some reason. The real story of Tuesday was the coaching staff’s apparent new love for farts.
Not necessarily real farts, which can be hit or miss depending on the smell and sound, and on the personalities of the people who are subjected to them. The Patriots’ coaches have been having a real gas with each other recently, with a fart machine – that is, a prank toy like this one. That very item got yours truly in trouble with the assistant principal in high school a couple times.
You would think that such shenanigans wouldn’t fly with Bill Belichick, and you’d have to do it under his nose. But the farts were there for everyone to hear during a Tuesday Zoom conference with wide receivers/kick returners coach Troy Brown. He fell victim to pranksters Jerod Mayo and Steve Belichick, who apparently left the fart machine under his chair and set it off during the Zoom.
Troy Brown laughs as fellow coaches Jerod Mayo and Steve Belichick left a farting machine in his interview room for his session with reporters.— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) November 9, 2021
No video is available, unfortunately, so you’ll have to trust us on this. But the farts probably sounded like this.
“If you don’t know what’s going on, you would think somebody is in the room farting,” Brown said. “I was in the room by myself just now, so I figured it had to be them.”
Safeties coach Brian Belichick was asked about the prank and revealed that the fart machine has been a thing for a while.
“They tried [to get me] a little bit. I caught on pretty quickly,” Belichick said. “But that machine’s been making its rounds for about a month now, so they’ve been working it with different guys.”
Receivers coach Mick Lombardi said the fart machine has been more of a defensive coaches thing. But it sounds like he’s being kept on his toes.
“I had actually never seen it before, so they’re probably looking to get me,” Lombardi said. “So I’m going to walk out of this room, making sure I got all eyes and I’m ready to go. Knowing them, they’ll probably get me the 2:30 staff meeting here later this afternoon with Bill in there. So I always hope I don’t get got.”
Lombardi said he hasn’t seen Bill Belichick pranked with the fart machine, at least not in a full staff meeting. He left open the possibility that it’s happened in a defensive meeting. That’s got to be their white whale.
We would need hidden cameras for that moment. Currently taking bets on whether Bill would respond by ripping a ferocious real fart in their face.
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