June can be rough for golfers. Just when we get some consistently decent weather, we also get pulled in all sorts of unwanted directions. Weddings, graduations, and BBQs all conspire to keep us off course and force us to keep company with relative strangers.
So as long as you have to make some small talk, you might as well talk about what you’d rather be doing. To that end, I present you with a few Golf Conversation Topics, which we’ll call GCTs.
GCT 1: Where do you play?
Once you’ve read the room and found a few golfers to talk to, this is the easiest of openings. Sometimes, it’s phrased as “where do you play out of?” which is actually code for “do you belong to a private club?”
Whatever your response, it’ll give you a chance to brag about your home course (like I do with mine, George Wright Golf Course in Hyde Park) or inquire more about theirs. Who knows? You might even get yourself an invite to the uncle of the bride’s member guest coming up next month.
GCT 2: What’s in the bag?
Another easy question that can keep the conversation going forever. Golfers love talking about their clubs, specifically the new driver they just dropped $500 on instead of spending it on their niece’s graduation gift. They might even be looking to alleviate some buyer’s remorse, which sets in not long after they discover their new $300 putter doesn’t sink 6 footers all by itself.
You can also use this question as a fact finding mission for your own shopping needs. Did that driver fitting really help? Can you tell a difference with your new wedges? Isn’t the purchase of a 9 wood the equivalent of giving up?
GCT 3: F, Marry, Kill
Speaking of being careful, best not to bring this one up if you have to explain what “F, Marry, Kill” is all about. But once you’ve got the green light, this one’s an all timer. Essentially, you have to pick one course you’d like to play just once (F), one course you’d play every day (Marry), and one course you’d like to bulldoze (Kill). You can leave it wide open or if you both know a lot of the same courses, pick three and get to sorting.
That should be enough to get you through at least one cocktail hour and dinner. Once the reception hits, you’re on your own. You should be leaving by then anyway – hopefully you’ve got a tee time early the next morning to make up for the day you just lost.
— By Rob “Hardy” Poole, 98.5 The Sports Hub
You can hear Hardy’s thoughts weekdays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. ET on the Zolak & Bertrand program. As well as the Sports Hub Golf Club every Saturday from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. ET during the season. Follow him on Twitter @HardyRadio.