Boy, a lot has happened since the last Patriots road trip travel guide, eh?
- Zappe Fever has broken
- The Bears (Seriously, THE BEARS?!) came in to Foxboro and Hillbilly Wiped their rears with the Patriots in all three phases of the game on national television
- And Bill Belichick made a shit sandwich out of the way he’s handled the return of Mac Jones
It’s hard to feel great about this middling team (at best) right now and their prospects of making the playoffs, but their sucking shouldn’t stop you from hitting the road and leaving your loved ones in the dust to go have yourself a rowdy weekend.
Especially THIS weekend, where you really don’t have to put in much effort at all!
So without further ado, here’s my list of 5 “do’s and don’ts” for the Pats fan’s trip to see ‘em take on the Jets at MetLife Stadium.
1.) DO: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merritt_Parkway" target="_blank">TAKE THE MERRITT! </a>
(Photo: Big Jim Murray)
I have to assume you’re driving to this road game, because unless you’re made of money, it makes absolutely no sense to fly into JFK/Laguardia/Newark and then spend out the ass to say in the city.
Same goes for the train, which is always overpriced and overcrowded.
No, this is a game you drive to for a day or two day trip, and if you’re going to drive, you should do it right and hop on to the Merritt Parkway in Milford, CT and ride it all the way to about Stamford, CT and then hop back on to 95 for the rest of the trip.
Now, does this make much logistical sense?
Probably not.However!
The Merritt Parkway is an incredibly beautiful and scenic ride during this time of year (what with all the foliage) and if you’ve never been on it before it’s totally worth it alone just to go through the Heroes Tunnel.Seriously, if you like history, nature and architecture, this stretch of road is truly a delight to drive through, and there’s the added bonus of commercial vehicles and trucks being banned on it as well.
2.) DO: <a href="https://archiemoores.com/" target="_blank">STOP & GET WINGS AT ARCHIE MOORE’S!</a>
(Photo: Big Jim Murray)
If you’d like to find out why Archie’s wings are one of the things I miss most about the time I spent living in Connecticut, then make sure to stop at one of their four locations on your way to the game.
I’d recommend bellying up to the bar at either the Milford or Wallingford locations, and then ordering up their famous Buffalo Wings in anything from a wee 7 piece portion, to a 49 piece for you and your pig friends.
I dunno what kind of sorcery goes on with how they make the wings at Archie’s, but what I do know is, is they’re some of the best I’ve ever stuffed into my face.
Like, I’m talking Buff’s Pub level good.
They’re meaty, saucy perfection.
3.) DO: <a href="https://playmeadowlands.com/" target="_blank">PLAY THE PONIES!</a>
(Photo: Big Jim Murray)
The Meadowlands Racing & Entertainment facility is basically right by MetLife Stadium, and features harness racing (and/or simulcast racing) and they’ve also got a FanDuel sports book in there as well.
It’s a building full of gambling, booze, shot girls, and fried food.
What the hell else is there to say?
Stop in, kill a few hours, and have yourself a time.
4.) DON’T: SHOW UP LAST MINUTE
(Photo: Big Jim Murray)
Lemme ask you this, Patriot fan.
As much as you enjoy tailgating for home games, do you enjoy the soul crushing experience of dealing with Rt. 1?
I’ll answer for you.
You don’t, and I don’t blame you.
Well guess what?
The experience of getting in and out of the parking lot at Met Life is about 100 times worse than anything you’ve ever dealt with in Foxboro.
The moron attendants don’t help at all, no one pays attention to lanes, it’s just a hellish standstill that will make your chest tighten and take years off of your life.
So heed this warning and try to get there relatively early so you can avoid this situation as best as possible, and postgame, just wander over to the aforementioned race track to kill time and let the madness die down.
5.) DO: <a href="https://www.btsmokehouse.com/" target="_blank">STOP AT B.T.'S ON THE RIDE HOME</a>
(Photo: Big Jim Murray)
For my money, the best BBQ in the entire state of Massachusetts can be be found in Sturbridge, and that’s B.T.’s Smokehouse.
Located just a little off exit 5 on the Mass Pike, B.T.’s has incredible brisket, tremendous sides, tasty sauces….and very likely a long wait.
But that’s for a reason!
The food is just that damn good.
You’ll likely be hungover and groggy, and this is a perfect place to stop to fill yourself up for the rest of the ride back.
