A deep analysis of the gigantic mural on the side of the Memorial Drive Trader Joe’s
(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
Have you ever wondered what it’s like to work at the Vatican, surrounded by perpetual artistic beauty? Do the employees at the Trader Joe’s in Cambridge experience something similar? Each day, as they arrive for work, they are greeted by what I consider to be the “Sistine Chapel of Memorial Drive” – a colossal mural capturing a serene Sunday afternoon on the Charles River, with Trader Joe’s products casually interspersed. This mural is undoubtedly a marvel and likely a subject for scholarly analysis for generations to come. However, I will attempt the first comprehensive examination of its intriguing characters.
MUSTACHE McSNACKMASTER

(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
No way, that’s a real mustache. That’s some witness protection shenanigans right there. Enjoy your organic plantains while you can. They’re onto you.
THE LOVING(?) COUPLE

(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
This woman has trust issues and I don’t like it. Here is her man taking her out for a beautiful picnic amongst the goose turd covered bank of the Charles, and all she can do is think about whether her mother was right about him all along. I can feel her judging me as I shove Vanilla Bean Jo-Jo’s in my mouth on the way to my car. Run, you striped-shirt Casanova, run!
CHARLES RIVER CHAD

(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
This Charles River Chad has so much rizz that it could fill all fourteen of his cargo short pockets. Bro is rocking a smile that could only come from an afternoon of eating an entire bag of Mochi Rice Nuggets and cropdusting everyone at the park.
GREEN GODDESS

A true green goddess, indeed. Eileen must have been so relaxed that she grew herself a man-hand.
BENCH MAN

(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
Look at how every parent is wisely pulling their children away from this man. The only one not eating Trader Joes, unless Trader Joes sells human flesh.
TYLER

(credit: Rich Shertenlieb)
Tyler’s a good boy. Despite being surrounded by an abundance of food, not a single scrap has been thrown his way. Not one Sea Salted Saddle Potato Crisp, not one cashew from the Everything But The Bagel Nut Duo. And, for some reason, Tyler is the only one who seems to have noticed the fifteen-foot-tall basketball coach with a bag of groceries wandering through the park.

Boston's Speakeasies: five hidden bars and restaurants where passwords might be required
It’s Saturday night, you’re out with a group of your friends, and someone says, ‘This guy playing Wonderwall on his acoustic for the 30th time is putting my knickers in a twist. Let’s bail and find somewhere that’s NOT this.’

BOSTON, MA – OCTOBER 17: Atmosphere at the Forbes 30 Under 30 Dinner Presented By The American Express Platinum Collective at Tiger Mama Restaurant on October 17, 2016 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Paul Marotta/Getty Images for American Express)
And that’s when it hits you that YOU could be the hero of the evening because you know of a place that is so cool it doesn’t even have a sign out front. Hell, it may even be hidden behind a dumpster. A speakeasy. A hidden spot that only YOU know about. Like an ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ party without a randy Sydney Pollack, no ‘Fidelio’ needed!
Here are five hidden bars and restaurants around Boston. Hopefully, they won’t be mad at me for blowing up their spot.
Literally located behind a dumpster. You’ll know you’re at 5 Utica Street when you go down an alleyway in the Financial District that makes you think you’re most likely gonna get jumped. Instead, when you find the black door, don’t knock, just call the tiny phone number near the handle. You’ll be led into a dimly lit 20-seat bar with not only one of the best bartenders in town but also shockingly good small plates (the shishitos are the bee’s knees). But beware, of the last three times I went, only once were they not at capacity. I’m assuming you could always wait in the dumpster.
JM Curley is one of the best bars in the city, and in the back of its location at 21 Temple Place downtown, is one of the best steakhouses in town. Walk all the way to the rear of JM, and behind the curtain next to the sign that says ‘ADULTS ONLY,’ is Bogie’s Place – a 20-seat prohibition throwback with a small bar in the corner where the food is excellent. Try the Bone Marrow. Oh, and as a bonus tip, head next door to…
Nick Gemelli, the wizard behind the scenes at Toucher & Hardy and a maestro on 985thesportshub.com, kicked off his radio escapade back in 2007 as an intern for Toucher & Rich on WBCN. After navigating through WFNX and the Boston Phoenix, he made a triumphant return to the show in 2016. Hailing from Marshfield but currently holding it down in Tewksbury, Nick’s radio journey is as dynamic as his Twitter feed. Nick writes about what happens on the Toucher & Hardy Show and Boston area lifestyle content.