Toucher & Rich

Weekdays 6am-10am

On Monday’s show, Rich brought back Jon Wallach’s favorite show bit…”Dead or Alive?” Surprising how mediocre he is at the game given he enjoys it so much. The guys haven’t run this bit in awhile, so Rich tested Fred and Jon’s knowledge of celebrity deaths with the return of “Dead or Alive?”

Fred: Hey, we are Toucher & Rich. Rich, you got something for the big 8 a.m. break?

Rich: I have something specifically for Jon Wallach, because it seems like any time that there is an opportunity for us to fill in a box and Jon happens to be there, he always says, hey.

Dan O’Brien: You mean the Wallach go to? Jon you care to tell us what this segment’s going to be?

Wallach: I have a feeling it has to do with New Jack.

Rich: No, does not have to do with New Jack. Every time that we have a box to fill, you request something and we don’t do it often.

Wallach: Oh, yeah. All right. Dead or alive, baby. Yeah.

Fred: All right.

Rich: John and his morbid curiosity.

Fred: John is so close to that camera baby.

Dan O’Brien: He is so tuned into this show. He is just in. Our post-show meetings with it when we used to have him are just, Jon leads the whole thing.

Fred: If you can you’ve got to get on Twitch because Jon is right up in that camera baby.

Dan O’Brien: And the microphone.

Fred: Well that’s not his fault. That is what I’m not bringing up the quality.

Rich: I know, I know. Well, Jon, just for you, we have a brand new edition of Dead or Alive ready to go. Jon is shockingly good at this, maybe it’s because he’s so close to death. Yeah, that’s right, he’s kind of further along the road than most of us, I think.

Fred: A few months shy of AARP.

Rich: That’s right.

Wallach: No I already got the card. They sent me that for my 50th. Oh yeah. 50th birthday about three days later, an AARP card arrives in the mail. Yes.

Fred: Yeah. And then so then they to having to invade your body with more and more reason to go to the doctors office.

Wallach: You combine the AARP card and AAA you get yourself some serious discounts, my friend, I’m telling ya.

Rich: Here’s here’s how it works Fred and John. I will give you the name of a celebrity and you just tell me whether or not they are dead or alive. It is that simple, okay?

Fred: Yes.

Rich: Let’s start with Harlem Globetrotter. Great Curly Neal, dead or alive?

Fred: Dead.

Wallach: He’s dead.

Rich: He only died two years ago, 77.

Fred: I got a feeling if you were on Gilligan’s Island, you are dead.

Wallach: A lot of people forget about that episode, Fred. The Globetrotters played the robots. That’s right.

Fred: Yes. Gilligan’s Island ran out of ideas like six episodes in.

Rich: I will tell you who is still alive on Gilligan’s Island. Okay, only one of the main cast is still alive and it’s the actress Louise.

Fred: No, no, that’s Ginger.

Rich: Ginger. Ginger. Only one still alive. Boy, one of them was born in 1900. Natalie Schafer, whoever that is.

Fred: That’s got to be Mrs. Howell.

Rich: Okay. We do have one of them that is alive.

Rich: But what’s odd is the Howell’s were about Jon’s age while they were on the show.

Wallach: Jesus.

Rich: All right. Here is a tough one. Joey Tata. Who is that?

Rich: That’s Nat, the owner of the Peach Pit on Beverly Hills 90210.

Fred: Well, the flags have not been at half mast, so I have a feeling Joey Tata, which not to be confused with Joey Tatas, who is down at the Cadillac Lounge. Right. The man has got to still be living.

Wallach: I think he was around for the reboot of 90210. I think he is indeed still living.

Rich: 85 years old, Mr. Joey Tata.

Fred: 85 years young. And if you take the 30 years it’s been since 90210 that would put him at 55 years old when 90210 was on the air, which is Jon’s age.

Rich: Gabe Kaplan of Welcome Back Kotter.

Fred: He’s alive. I just saw an interview.

Wallach: I know he’s alive.

Rich: How do you guys know about Gabe Kaplan?

Fred: Because I just heard him interviewed.

Fred: How old was he when he did Kotter, Fred?

Fred: Oh, in his thirties.

Rich: Oh, he looked like he was like 50.

Fred: Oh no. Because he grew up doing the came up in comedy. Not doing the comedy, he did strip clubs. He would go around doing strip clubs, doing burlesque shows. And that’s where he got those jokes that he used on Welcome Back Kotter. Because he used he learned them from the old comedians. Would you like to know more about Gabe Kaplan?

Wallach: Sure, I mean was a pro poker player for a while, right?

Fred: Well, I think they did kick him off Welcome back, Kotter.

Wallach: Yes. Yes, that’s true.

Fred: So they kicked him off Welcome back, Kotter and he’s like, I never want to do this again. So he became a professional poker player.

Rich: There are only three surviving people from the main cast of Welcome Back Kotter. Gabe Kaplan, whoever Lawrence Hilton Jacobs is, I’m not sure which one.

Wallach: He’s uh, Boom Boom Washington.

Rich: Okay. And John Travolta. It looks like Horshack and the other guy are dead.

Wallach: Epstein, yeah.

Fred: He had a note from his mother that said, I am indeed dead. Now, have you seen Cooley High, Jon?  Featuring Freddie Boom Boom Washington.

Wallach: I have not seen it.

Fred: Strangely watchable film. It’s a, I believe, the first black teen comedy set in 1960, Chicago. Go ahead.

Rich: Game show host Wink Martindale.

Fred: No, I say he’s dead.

Wallach: I say he’s living. I think he’s living still.

Fred: No he’s dead.

Rich: Johnny Wallgame. He is still alive.

Wallach:  I think he’s like 85 or 86.

Fred: Oh he’s got to be older than that.

Rich: He’s 87. He’s 87 years old. Wink Martindale still kicking around. Good for him.

Wallach: Tic tac dough baby.

Fred: That is home sick from school Wink Martindale.

Rich: How about Fred, one of your favorites, Moner? Catherine Hellman from Who’s the Boss?

Fred: Catherine Hellman is dead, even though when she was on soap curves in all the right places.

Rich: She was 89 years old when she died.

Wallach: She was in coach, too, right?

Fred: Oh, she was on coach, she was on Everybody Loves Raymond. You got to figure that she had lots of casting couch for Katherine Helmond.

Rich: Garrett Morris of Saturday Night Live fame.

Fred: He is alive.

Wallach: I’m going to say alive, too. I think that’s right.

Rich: He’s old, though. 85 years old.

Wallach: He was on 2 broke girls, too, right?

Fred: Yes.

Wallach: I don’t remember. I never watched that show.

Fred: The 2 Broke Girls? Oh, it’s great. You should really watch it. And Garrett Morris is really funny. Yeah, he was great on Saturday Night Live they really gave him a chance. They really thought through casting him.

Wallach: He had one thing.

Fred: It doesn’t translate and it doesn’t translate at all, the Mets guy.

Wallach: It translated for about three years and then it was wildly unfunny.

Fred: Yeah, baseball has been very, very good to me.

Wallach: That’s right. Chico Esquivel. That’s right. Yep.

Fred: Not funny at all. Not even remotely, so unfunny that, like, even the concept of it is strange to me. Not offensive, but not funny at all.

Rich: Let’s go to Must See TV from the eighties. Markie Post of Night Court. Dead or alive?

Wallach: Oh, she’s dead.

Fred: I think she’s dead. I think she is dead.

Rich: Yeah, she died last year. She was 70 years old when she passed away.

Fred: That was one of those women that when you got older and you looked back, you went, oh, my goodness, she was really good looking. I never realized that when I was a youth.

Rich: Oh, yeah.

Wallach: One of the many to head to the Hallmark Channel at the end of her career.

Rich: Oh, really?

Fred: Now, what did you send me?  You send me a text the other night. Jon, there’s Christmas in July?

Wallach: Oh, yeah, Christmas in July on the Hallmark Channel. And they decided to kind of branch out and do a Hanukkah movie. Who is the main character I sent you?

Fred: Ben Savage.

Wallach: Ben Savage from Boy Meets World.

Fred: Not affected by his brother’s controversial me too situation. Ben Savage still able to scrounge out a living now. Did you watch the movie?

Wallach: No. I just happened to be walking by. I was like, oh my god, that’s Ben Savage. Fred needs to know about this.

Fred: Yeah, it was I was more of an Eric guy, his older brother. I like Will Friedel’s comedic chops. So your wife will watch Hanukkah movies even though she made you turn your back on Hanukkah?

Wallach: That’s correct.

Fred: She’ll watch Hanukkah movies in July?

Wallach: Yes, that’s correct.

Fred: Like wishing away the summer, wishing that it was the holiday season.

Wallach: I don’t understand it. This is well-documented. The TV is on the Hallmark Channel 24 hours a day, seven days a week, all the time.

Rich: What is on the Hallmark Channel when it’s not Christmas movies? Does it exist?

Wallach: This is it. No, no. They transfer its like Summer Love, and then they have like a two weeks of Easter movies and Valentine’s Day and fall fling with leaves everywhere. I mean, they’re geniuses. They market the hell out of this. They have movies for every season and everyone continues to watch. It’s amazing.

Fred: What is the Easter movie? Like, how do you put a movie around Easter? The town’s alive?

Wallach: That’s right. The town’s alive for Easter, there are figurines.

Rich: Someone who’s risen from the dead.

Wallach: That’s right, that’s at the end of the movie.

Rich: It’s like, so you know, this guy’s, you know, a boy or this girl’s boyfriend dies tragically in a car accident. Three days later, he’s back.

Wallach: Jimmy, I thought you were dead.

Fred: I get Christmas because there’s a vibe around Christmas. But you never said, like, the small town was alive with Easter fever.

Wallach: They start the Christmas movies October 25th and that kills two months. And then you have the Valentine’s Day stuff starts right after the Martin Luther King Day, so they get a month out of that. They stretch it all the way. I don’t know how they do it. It’s amazing.

Fred: Alright. Well, there you go.

Rich: Is there a Hallmark D-Day movie?

Wallach: No, no. They they they skip that one.

Rich: Speed round. Sandy Koufax.

Wallach: Dead

Fred: Alive.

Rich: Alive.

Fred: Jon should’ve known that one.

Rich: Lee Trevino.

Fred: Alive.

Wallach: Alive

Rich: Bob Euchre.

Fred: Alive.

Wallach: Alive, yeah.

Rich: Florence Henderson.

Wallach: Dead.

Fred: Dead.

Rich: Robert Duvall.

Fred: Alive.

Wallach: Alive.

Rich: Shockingly, 91 years old.

Rich: Al Molinaro, Arnold from Happy Days.

Fred: He’s dead.

Wallach: Dead!

Rich: 2015.

Wallach: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rich: Both Smothers Brothers.

Fred: They are alive.

Wallach: They’re both alive those guys? They were on Carson when he first started. Oh my God.

Fred: Listen, you protest the war enough, you stay alive forever.

Wallach: I mean, subversive, early seventies. Oh, Jesus. All right.

Rich: You know, Dan just said in my headphones, I kind of agree, you sneaky suck at this game. Like for someone that wants to play it all the time, you suck.

Wallach: I got like 9 out of 12. What do you want from me?

Fred: The Smothers Brothers were on Carson in the early seventies. They had a show on TV in the sixties.

Rich: And they’re both alive. Both Smothers brothers they’re like 95, 96 years old.

Fred: Even the guy with the mustache. Talk about not funny, but the the network gave them notes that they were too subversive and they said, you can take your notes and go screw and they quit their show. And they stood up for their principles. All right. There you go. Dead or Alive, we had not played that a very, very long time.

Rich: Vance Duke? Of Coy and Vance fame.

Wallach: Oh that guy is going to live forever.

Dan O’Brien: Dead.

Rich: Oh, really?

Wallach: I do suck at this game.

Rich: I have not fact checked it, but I guess that he is dead.

Fred: Yeah. I mean, everyone remembers the day that Coy died. All right. We’ll be right back.