Patriots outside linebacker Chase Winovich joined Zolak & Bertrand for his weekly interview and settled one of the great debates in show history: would you rather fight a shark or a bear?
Winovich is fighting the bear and avoiding the shark every time, and has a pretty convincing argument.
“I would do a bear in a heartbeat because think about it, I don’t know if you guys have ever been in water, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen techniques – I always talk about techniques, this is the athlete in me, the football player, the combative person, I guess – but it’s like if you got attacked by a shark, you could walk through scenarios like, ‘OK, what would I do?’ But I mean, that’s great,” Winovich said. “Who was it, Mike Tyson? It’s like, everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face. You’re out there swimming and you get attacked by a giant great white shark out of the blue? I mean, those things, they jump 10 feet in the air and swallow seals whole.
“You could say ‘Oh, I’m going to do this,’ but then your leg’s missing, like you could gauge its eyes out all you want. But I mean, if that thing has his eyes set on you and it’s properly motivated, which, you know, under this scenario, I assume it would be, yeah … I think sharks are kind of friendly creatures. I think they’re getting a bad rap. I’ve thought about that for a while too.”
Winovich also gave his take on two other animal debates. What’s his answer to the classic question, 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? He’s fighting the horses and avoiding the giant ducks, and explained why in great detail.
“So I’ve thought about this one at length as well,” Winovich said. “Of course this is one of life’s great questions, I’d say. I came to the conclusion that I’m going to fight the horses, for sure. I mean, the thing is, like you’re going to get tired, and I’m not sure like the proper technique in terms of, like, kicking that many horses or punching them, I don’t know exactly how you do it. Maybe a couple forearm shivers, a couple elbows. But if you think about how big a duck – just have you ever seen a duck kind of angry and it’s just flapping around and flailing? I don’t know, man. And if you think about the the proportions of its limbs, if it was as big as a horse?
“It’s just kind of awkward because it’s like, I don’t know, you go for one leg, its leg’s so skinny that you miss it. I guess you can get close to it. Its beak might not be as effective and would be kind of neutralized. But man, that’s going to be a battle.”
Finally, Zo & Beetle asked Winovich at the top whether he would fight a moose or a giraffe. It sounds like he’s thought about this debate more than anything, because he has a very complex strategy to fight a moose involving plenty of tools and football strategies.
“See like that’s the thing – I compare it to football,” Winovich said. “There’s a play called a ‘flash’ play, which is the tight end coming across to try to block the opposite defensive end. A lot of teams will do this when they want to create kind of a mismatch. They know typically a tight end will be able to block a defensive end or an outside linebacker. So they’ll send him over and give him a full head of steam and they could cut you. But one thing that I have as a defender is when I see that guy coming across, I can ‘olé.’ And I think it’s the same thing with a moose. If I had to fight a moose, I’d probably try to maybe get him mad. This is a survival situation, obviously, and I can’t just be friendly with it.
“So it’s coming at me, I’m going to try to olé it, maybe use like a big tree or something that, you know, really helps make sure that it can’t just ram me. I’m going to olé it. And then once it goes by me, then I’m going to try to maybe use a rock or something sharp once it whiffs, and just get a good whack in on it, you know, maybe get it discombobulated, get it a little off balance, and from there maybe just hop on top. Put him in a chokehold or … if I had like any rope with me, maybe if I parachuted in, cut the rope off.”
So, just to recap, Winovich is fighting:
— A bear over a shark
— 100 duck-sized horses over one horse-sized duck
— A moose over a giraffe
You can listen to Winovich’s full interview above.
Listen to Zolak and Bertrand weekdays from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on 98.5 The Sports Hub.