New England Patriots

Quarterback Mason Rudolph of the Pittsburgh Steelers fights with defensive end Myles Garrett of the Cleveland Browns during the second half at FirstEnergy Stadium on November 14, 2019 in Cleveland, Ohio. The Browns defeated the Steelers 21-7. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)

By Matt Dolloff,

All of us media jackals and football die-hards should be thanking Myles Garrett today. With one violent swing of another player’s helmet, Garrett just provided the greatest, most compelling and polarizing story we’ll see in 2019.

In case you don’t have the internet, Garrett was right in the middle of one of the uglier brawls in NFL history late in the Browns’ 21-7 win over the Steelers on Thursday night. Garrett got tangled up with Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph for a sack, and as it happened they quickly escalated into a scuffle. Then that quickly escalated into helmets being removed. Then it escalated into oh dear lord Myles Garrett what are you doing!!!

It has something for everybody. Viewers can cringe at Garrett’s tomahawk-chop, then move on to meme-ing it. Browns fans can blame Rudolph for instigating it and totally getting what he deserved. Mortified fans everywhere can call for Garrett to go to prison. Twitter can make Happy Gilmore references (“I was the only guy to take off my skate and try to stab somebody.”). Fans on all sides can bludgeon each other with whataboutisms.

Best of all, media outlets across the country can bloviate on how horrified they are by the incident and treat Garrett like he’s John Wayne Gacy … while playing the clip over and over again. Callers and talking heads alike can Willsomeonepleasethinkofthechildren us to death while simultaneously Zapruder-ing the video to determine who’s most culpable. Hell people might want me fired for daring not to have a mental breakdown. It’s the kind of mayhem we can really sink our teeth into for a minimum of 24 hours.

The only real loser here is the top of Rudolph’s head. In all seriousness, hopefully he didn’t end up with a serious injury. Really though, what a scene. When anyone on Friday says they’ve never seen anything like that before they’re probably being honest with you.

Can’t say the same for all the pearl-clutching that’s going to ensue over the next 72 hours. At the end of the day it was some good-old-fashioned violence stemming from an inherently violent sport. It’s not the first time someone’s swung a helmet, but it was obviously a violent act.

Not your run-of-the-mill football violence though, definitely some psychotic stuff. Garrett is going to get suspended probably for the rest of the season and others involved will get a game here and there. Myles Garrett crossed lines with his helmet-swing on Mason Rudolph.

But he also created a story that has media salivating on Friday, whether they want to admit it or not.

Matt Dolloff is a digital producer for Any opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of 98.5 The Sports Hub, Beasley Media Group, or any subsidiaries. Have a news tip, question, or comment for Matt? Follow him on Twitter @mattdolloff or email him at